Criminal Tendencies


Since we moved to Uckfield, I’ve become a criminal. Some time ago, I received a notice of intended prosecution from the Sussex Police. It was a long letter with lots of red, shouty writing and thick black letters at the top with a picture of a police badge in black and white. It had my full name on it too which I hate because people only use it when they’re cross, or before operations. I was distraught. I am a very law-abiding person. I floss (occasionally), queue at bus stops (always) and go into Tesco’s to buy something if I … Continue reading Criminal Tendencies

This Ordinary Life


Whenever I arrive home after being out, I can’t sit down ’til I’ve done certain things : – 1. Put my shoes in the shoe place. 2. Put my keys in the key place. 3. Put my bag in the bag place (removing phone and glasses). 4. Taken my rings off. I put my rings on whenever I leave the house. I’ve worn them for so long, I don’t feel quite dressed without them. It’s always the same in the morning (after I’m clothed, obviously) – perfume,  handcream, rings. Ready to face the world. It’s made me think about routines, … Continue reading This Ordinary Life