People can be very annoying, particularly in supermarkets. The other day, they were being deliberately obstructive: standing around; staring into space; loitering for several seconds, three deep, in front of a vegetable I was gunning for; even (cardinal sin) turning … Continue reading How to be stressed

A while ago, we had a tiny crisis, involving my daughter, her I-phone and a toilet. She quite likes our little town, though it was hard for her that we moved from London in her final year at uni, so I wanted to give her a taste of Sussex life – the forest, the sea, Harvey’s Bonfire Boy. After the I-phone 6, with 8 months on the contract, decided to investigate life in the U-bend, it took the edge off things a bit. We buried it in rice, put it in the airing cupboard, prayed – but the screen with … Continue reading Give us this day…

I didn’t grow sunflowers this year. Last year was our first one here and the best place to grow them – at the front in the sunshine – was annoying to water and beyond reach of the hose. They did well and had massive heads, particularly the ones in compost, and I kind of regretted it in the end, but there we are. I grew seeds in the greenhouse – nasturtiums and geraniums and star shaped cosmos and potted them up for the back.   It grew hot, the air stilled, we went away. The cat lady came to feed … Continue reading Lessons from a sunflower

Since we moved to Uckfield, I’ve become a criminal. Some time ago, I received a notice of intended prosecution from the Sussex Police. It was a long letter with lots of red, shouty writing and thick black letters at the top with a picture of a police badge in black and white. It had my full name on it too which I hate because people only use it when they’re cross, or before operations. I was distraught. I am a very law-abiding person. I floss (occasionally), queue at bus stops (always) and go into Tesco’s to buy something if I … Continue reading Criminal Tendencies